After The MBA

My First Open Mic

I finally performed my first open mic last week. As comfortable as I am with public speaking, I was really nervous before my set. In fact, I was so nervous that I went to the bathroom right before I got on stage so that nothing would come out in case I peed myself. You see, when you give a Powerpoint presentation for school or work, you can hide behind your slides. Plus, no one expects you to be funny and most people zone out and start surfing Facebook on their iPhone. If you crack one joke, all of a sudden, you become the best presenter evaaar!

However, when you perform in a comedy club, it is completely different. People are paying money for you to make them laugh. They are expecting you to be entertaining and engaging. To add to the discomfort, you are elevated on a little stage with all lights pointing in your face. There are no note cards or Powerpoint slides to hide behind. I think I did fairly well for a first-timer. I got a few laughs, and no one had to chase me off the stage with a baseball bat. But don't take my word for it, check out the video of my performance:

Las Vegas Not So Sinful?

There was no tiger in the bathroom. There was no Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins. There wasn’t anything that needed to “stay in Vegas”. My first trip to Vegas was certainly fun but nothing extraordinary. In fact, I would say that people in New York City (my former residence) party harder than people in Vegas.

But enough with the debates, here are the highlights:

Getting Propositioned By A Hooker On The Casino Floor - It wasn’t even 10:00PM yet and there were plenty of other patrons around so it was somewhat unexpected to get approached by a hooker. I eventually told her that she was wasting her time and then she moved on to the guy sitting on the other side of her. Overall, I felt that it was a flattering experience. Sure she was a prostitute but she could have given her sales pitch to ANY guy on the floor. The fact that she chose me that early in the evening has to mean something right? I mean, if you were a prostitute, wouldn’t you want to choose a good-looking stud like me over some joe schmoe? (No answer needed. This is a hypothetical question.)

Clubbing At XS – This is arguably the hottest club in Vegas right now. What makes this club cool is that it is built around a fairly large and circular swimming pool so it creates a nice ambiance. What isn’t cool is that the club was filled with douchey guys wearing Ed Hardy/Affliction t-shirts. For example, when I was waiting in line to get inside, a group of 5 douchey-looking guys standing behind me decided to buy a table on the spot. They didn’t reserve ahead of time so the table would be more expensive since all the lower-tier ones were sold out. The clipboard guy told them the table would cost $3,000. After a minute of discussion, I kid you not, the guys decided that it was worth the money for the table because if they all got prostitutes, it would cost them $1,000 each or $5,000 total, so they would essentially be saving $2,000 by hooking up with girls at the club. I prayed that those douchebags went home empty handed that evening.

Watching The Vegas Sunrise – I spent 3 nights in Vegas and watched the sun rise 3 times as well. Surprisingly, the city is pretty much dead by 5:00AM (and this was a weekend). Something about watching the sun rise over the empty streets of Las Vegas at 7:00AM is romantic in a clichéd sort of way. Or maybe I was just really proud of myself that I still managed to party till the sun came up at the age of 29.

Post-MBA Health Insurance

So my Cornell student health insurance expires on August 16^th. Even people who are employed but haven’t started work yet are potentially in the same boat as me. I called up Aetna and asked how much it would cost to continue my Cornell student health insurance and it is insanely expensive!

Cornell Student Health Insurance Continuation (COBRA)

- There are NO REFUNDS. You are obligated to pay the full term and you cannot extend your health insurance after the initial plan runs out.

 3 Months:  Total cost = $2,262 ($754/month)

 6 Months: Total cost = $3,482 ($580/month)

 9 Months: Total cost = $4,875 ($542/month)

These insurance premiums are insane!!! President Obama definitely has a lot of fixin’ to do with our health care system. How are unemployed MBAs supposed to pay that kind of money to stay healthy? So instead of doing COBRA, AETNA offers a short-term health insurance plan in 3, 6 and 12 months options through the Fairmont Specialty Group that covers the basics. Right now I just want a health insurance plan that will protect me from declaring bankruptcy in case I break my arm and this plan fit the bill.

Short Term Medical Insurance (Fairmont Specialty Group via Aetna’s website)

 6 Months : Total cost = $696 ($113/month)

Obviously I signed up for the short term plans over COBRA because of the huge cost savings. Granted I can’t have regular visits without paying out of pocket in the beginning but at least I am covered in case I am the victim of a catastrophic event like getting hit by a taxi. Plus, it isn't like I normally go to the doctor that often anyways.

Helpful link: http://www.aetnastudenthealth.com/stu_conn/grad.aspx

On a side note, I am going to Las Vegas for the very FIRST time this weekend for a friend's birthday! My buddy Jimmy is turning the big 3-0 (the official start of turning old) so I am going to help celebrate this momentous occasion of impending mortality. I expect nothing less than to wake up with a tiger in my bathroom and Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins!

Ivy League Speed Dating

Since I am new to the Bay Area and single, I figured I would try a speed dating event because it sounded like a great way to meet many women in a short amount of time. This wasn’t just any regular speed dating event but an exclusive event for only Ivy League snobs. It is interesting to note that because the event was set up by a Cornellian (a Hotelie of course), most attendees were also Cornell alums.

I had never been to a speed dating event so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Basically I was assigned to a bracket consisting of men aged 25-35 and women aged 22-30. Over the span of approximately 1 hour, I met with 8 different women, 5 minutes at a time, with a short break in the middle. I strategized ahead of time and decided to ask each and every woman, “What is your favorite type of sashimi?” right off the bat. I felt that this was a unique question that would start each “date” on a playful note. Plus, the answer given would reveal each woman's level of sophistication and sense of adventure. This is a breakdown of my speed dates:

Dater #1
Favorite Sashimi: Maguro
Summary: Nice girl who likes to play tennis. Started to have a good conversation but then the 5-minute whistle sounded.

Verdict: Second date worthy

Dater #2
Favorite Sashimi: Hamachi
Summary: Energetic and lively and really into sports (playing not watching). However, a little on the masculine side both in physical appearance and tone of voice.

Verdict: No second date

Dater #3                                                                                                                                     Favorite Sashimi: Salmon (smoked or raw, I do not know)                                                  Summary: Could not speak English very well. I'm not really sure what she said 50% of the time but I just smiled politely and nodded. Looked like she lied about her age and was beyond the 22-30 age range. She also had top and bottom braces (not Invisalign).

Verdict: No second date

Dater #4
Favorite Sashimi: California roll or rolls filled with crunchy things and cheese (major points were deducted)
Summary: Had a weird infatuation with monkeys. Conversation was very amusing and awkward at times, but mostly because of her concerns about primates.

Verdict: No second date

Dater #5
Favorite Sashimi: Spicy scallop roll (no this isn’t really sashimi but at least she tried)        Summary: Wore a sleek and tight cocktail dress (winner of the hot outfit award). Very fun and bubbly.

Verdict: Second date worthy  

Dater #6
Favorite Sashimi: Unagi
Summary: Wore a cute flowery summer dress. Currently in Stanford med school, thus fulfilling my dreams of dating a doctor.

Verdict: Second date worthy

Dater #7
Favorite Sashimi: Toro
Summary: Talked smack about how I was nursing my 2^nd glass of wine when she drank water the whole time. Seemed pretty uptight and serious. Probably abuses her boyfriends.

Verdict: No second date

Dater #8
Favorite Sashimi: Toro (probably stole #7's answer)
Summary: Pleasant girl but nothing really stood out about her. She likes The Killers and 80s music so that automatically earned her a second date.

Verdict: Second date worthy

After 48 hours, I finally received my matches. Out of the 4 women that I deemed "second date worthy", none felt the same about me. Apparently Ivy League women have poor taste in men! Or maybe the sashimi question wasn't such a good idea. Was it worth the $41 registration fee? Let's just say that I probably won't be doing Ivy League Speed Dating again but it certainly was a fun experience and that is what is most important.

Going Back To School

So after graduating B-school without a job, I decided that I would pursue another degree and further my education. If I couldn’t become a buy-side equity research analyst, I felt that the next best option was to learn how to become a stand-up comedian. (Yes, I know both careers are highly correlated.) I recently enrolled in a 6-week stand-up comedy course at the San Francisco Comedy College for the bargain price of about $300.

Why stand-up comedy you ask? Well, I always thought I was a relatively funny person.  But it is possible that throughout most of my life, perhaps I have been surrounded by people who simply aren’t that funny, thus making me funny relative to my peers. For example, although MBAs are known to have FUN, they aren’t necessarily known for being FUNNY (*ahem* I-Bankers). So maybe within the confines of the Johnson School at Cornell I was a funny person, but in a room full of aspiring comedians maybe not so much.

Plus, when else am I going to have the chance to try my hand at stand-up comedy? This is a great experience and at the very least, it will improve my public speaking and interpersonal skills. And the fact that women like funny guys doesn’t hurt either. Think about it.....have you ever heard a woman complain that her date sucked because the guy was too funny?