After The MBA

How To Put A Stapler In Jello

My office manager had her birthday last week so what not a better way to celebrate the occasion than to put her stapler in jello? (Yes, I was inspired by Jim from the office in case you were wondering.) So here is my homemade recipe for putting a stapler in jello:

 

Ingredients: 

• One stapler
• One birthday card (optional)
  
• One permanent market (for writing in the card)
  
• 4 boxes of Jello Mix (good for 16 cups of jello)
• One large serving dish or platter (for the finished jello)
  
• One large bowl or container that can hold the stapler and 12-16 cups of liquid (this will be your jello mold).

Step 1:

Apply a non-stick coating like Pam to the walls of the container/jello mold.

Step 2:

Mix the jello powder with hot water (follow the instructions on the box)

Step 3:

Pour half of the jello liquid into the container/jello mold and let it sit for 4 hours in the fridge until it hardens.

Step 4:

Take the half-full container of jello out of the fridge and place the stapler and signed birthday card (if applicable) in the container on top of the bed of jello. The card should be signed with a permanent marker so that the ink does not run.

Step 5:

Reheat the remaining half of the jello liquid and pour it into the container, submerging the stapler and birthday card.

Step 6:

Wait 4 more hours until the other half of the jello liquid hardens.

 
Step 7:

Take the container out of the fridge. The entire container of jello should now be solid and firm.

Step 8:

Flip the container onto the serving platter. The jello might not come out easily. If it does not slide out, place the upside down container under running warm water for 10-30 seconds. This should soften/melt the outside walls of the jello and it should slide out easily.

Step 9:

Congratulations! You have created a stapler in jello!

    

*** Warning: This birthday prank might not be appropriate in all work environments (ex: investment banks or law firms) or with certain co-workers (ex: the office psycho). User discretion is advised! ***

So how did my office manager react? Well, she got a kick out of the gesture and it was also good that she couldn’t figure out who was responsible, although she undoubtedly will find out the truth now that I have written a blog post about it. Yes I know I am taking a great risk by revealing this information but this knowledge must be shared with the public for the good of society! (just like WikiLeaks)

My First Industry Conference

Last week I was excited to attend my first industry conference (I didn’t work in tech before if you recall). The event was the Virtual Goods Summit (VGS) and it was held in San Francisco.

Virtual goods are basically all the things that you buy in online games (for example: the tractor in FarmVille). Many people scoff at the idea of virtual goods because they are “fake”,  but let me assure you, the profits are very real— in 2009, sales of virtual goods in the U.S. was over $1 billion and the market continues to grow rapidly. One thing that I learned was that there are no booth babes at VGS. I don’t know why I was expecting booth babes. I think I just assumed that all tech conferences had booth babes. Apparently, that is not the case. There were plenty of booths however, but they were filled with dudes giving their sales pitches in exchange for some free swag like corporate branded keychains or pens.

In case you were wondering what type of food you get with your $695 registration fee:

 Lunch

        

       

Reader Mailbag: Stress of Job Searching

Once in awhile, I get emails from random people who read my blog. Recently I was asked the following question and I felt it would be good to share my answer because many other people have also asked me the same question before.

Here's the question that I received from a 2010 MBA grad from UMich:

“How did you handle the stress of looking for jobs (and not getting anywhere for 9 months) while your classmates were all working (or maybe they weren't!).”  

I think I handled the stress of job searching for 9 months (and 14 months after graduation) quite well but I’m not exactly your average, representative MBA as you might have noticed from my quirky blog posts (I moonlighted as a stand-up comedian after all). Everyone is different and everyone handles stress and rejection differently. Many of my classmates became reclusive during their job search, which is understandable because it is somewhat embarrassing to be unemployed when many of your classmates have started their new jobs and are progressing with their careers.

This isn’t to say that I was never frustrated and in fact, I often thought, “Why don’t I have a job? I have good work experience and got good grades in school.” But instead of hiding at home and kicking the dirt, I went out regularly to grab dinner/drinks with friends, which helped me forget about my stressful job search (fleeting happiness is better than no happiness) and helped to remind me that there is more to life than just “getting a job”. In my opinion, I think locking yourself up at home and isolating yourself only makes things worse because it allows you to revel in your own misery.

I also highly recommend going to the gym and working out because you have all this free time now so you might as well get in shape and look good while being unemployed! Working out also helps to relieve stress! Just keep in mind that the weak job market is out of your control and that getting through this difficult experience will also help you deal with adversity later on in life.

My First Startup Party

     

The other weekend I attended my first startup party for Quora.com (they rented out Terra in SF). Quora is kind of like a community Q&A website but with social features like the ability to follow people/friends (like Twitter). Personally I’m not really a big user of Quora but my sister (she's been in tech for awhile) told me that startup parties are not that common anymore (since the dotcom bubble burst) and that I should check it out.

      

Basically I learned that startup parties are full of dudes. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because tech is like 80% men. The food wasn’t great but they did have an open bar with some good liquor. I can’t really complain either because everything was free.   

                                         

Perhaps the highlight of the evening was this gem of a tattoo that I spotted on some girl’s back. For you non-Keane fans, it is a song lyric from one of their hit songs. Personally I thought this tattoo was questionable both in terms of placement and content. I mean, Arial font for a song lyric is pretty boring (Lucida Calligraphy would look much cooler) and the tattoo is pretty conspicuously placed near the base of the neck (forget about looking classy in anything but a turtleneck). Hypothetically speaking, if I was getting intimate with this girl and I saw her tattoo, it would make me want to start singing one of my favorite Keane songs outloud. I can't think of a more inappropriate time to start singing Keane.

As a huge Keane fan, I had to inquire about said tattoo and I found out that this girl wasn’t even that big of a Keane fan and she got it as a tribute to a friend that passed away. She was however, impressed by my extensive knowledge of Keane, which seemed to make her hovering boyfriend quite jealous (I guess he doesn’t listen to Keane). Diplomatic relations between me and jealous boyfriend were further strained when she happily let me take a picture of her remarkable tat. Thank you tattoo girl for the most entertaining moment of the evening!