What would you do if you saw a shady-looking middle-aged woman burying a suspicious package outside the entrance of the SF Superior Court building? I was put in this awkward situation during a recent lunch break from jury duty.
The court building also doubles as a police station so I was in shock that this was happening in broad daylight. I looked to the nearest two bystanders and neither of them seemed to notice what had just transpired before them.
“What the heck did that woman just hide in the ground?” I wondered.
Weed? (It is San Francisco after all)
Crack rocks? (I’ve always wondered what crack rocks look like in real life)
Or something more sinister? A bomb perhaps? (After living through 9/11, you assume every stray package is a bomb)
There was no way that I could just walk away without uncovering the contents of the package. So I crouched down and dug it out while running the risk that someone would report me or that a police officer would catch me in the act. I mean, how do you explain to a cop why you’re digging a package out of the ground in front of a court house/police station? And then, there was always the risk that it was an explosive device and my arm would get blown off (apparently, stupidity is curiosity’s best friend).
As I nervously unearthed the plastic bag, I wondered what the street value of my find would be and what I would do with my booty: A.) Re-bury it? B.) Turn it over to the authorities? C.) Bring it to work to show all my co-workers so that they’d believe my story?
It turns out, the plastic bag contained neither crack rocks nor explosives, but a simple pair of metal scissors that were not allowed past security and would have set off the metal detectors.
I went with choice A.) Re-bury it.
Yes. What a lame ending. Don’t worry; you’re just as disappointed as me that there was no secret stash of crack rocks. =P
